


Always Here

by Astrid_Midnight



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25493227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astrid_Midnight/pseuds/Astrid_Midnight
Summary: Cloud and Tifa offer each other support when having to force their way through a crowd together.
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	Always Here

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt: Character A and B holding hands because there's a crowd but not letting go when they get out of it.
> 
> I've had this written for a while now but finally got the courage to post it! Not sure how this came out so hope you enjoy!!

It may have been hard to believe, but Cloud Strife wasn’t a ‘people person’. Back in Nibelheim, he never got along with anyone and, following Tifa’s accident, the fights he got into kind of cemented that. While he and Tifa weren’t really close, she was still friendly to him, which was something he was always grateful for. However, after everyone including her father blamed him for her accident, he withdrew within himself even more. It was alright, he told himself, because it wasn’t like he had anyone around to care or say otherwise.

Cloud had thought things would have been better once he started working for Shinra yet even that proved difficult. He was friendly with the other troops but he just couldn’t click with them like they did with each other. The only person he really connected with was Zack, who became his first proper friend, who treated him as an equal, a comrade, a _brother_.

Zack had protected him to the very end and he repaid that deed by forgetting him. Sure, that technically wasn’t his fault, but who was he kidding? He had only died because Cloud was too weak to take care of himself. He essentially sacrificed his best friend and was left alone again.

Even if he didn’t remember his sorrow and grief, finding Tifa again made things easier. Being around a familiar face put him at ease, even if he didn’t really click with her friends in AVALANCHE (and don’t even get him started with his initial spat with Barret). He never admitted it out loud but he gradually became fond of the misfits their little group was recruiting on their way to fight Sephiroth. They weren’t really the friends Cloud pictured himself having but he was grateful for them nonetheless.

But even before the whole instance with geostigma, the baggage of having to deal with Aerith’s death, to remember Zack’s, and the strain it put on their whole family was more than he could take. After finally forgiving himself and deciding to come back home, Cloud resolved that he would do better. He allowed himself to be happy and to enjoy his life with his friends and family again, which improved his way of living significantly.

It was the little things and small actions that helped Cloud ease himself back into the family. It made Cloud feel like he had a place again, even if he didn’t really lose it in the first place. Cloud liked to think that after everything he had gone through, physically, mentally and emotionally, he could handle anything that came his way.

Which was why he didn’t know what to expect when he and Tifa were faced with a large crowd.

The two of them were on their way back from shopping for the bar while Marlene and Denzel were at Barret’s for the weekend. Tifa was initially going to go out on her own, saying it wasn’t a lot that she needed to get, but Cloud insisted on helping out. Even if she insisted that she didn’t need help, Cloud knew that it meant a lot to Tifa when he helped out with the little things. It brought their family a sense of normalcy that had been lost on them for the last few years.

It made Cloud feel like he was a normal person again.

But as he and Tifa were engaging in small talk, the crowd that they approached on the way home made him stop in place. Seeing a lot people walking around in one place made his stomach turn and the thought of being caught up in a crowd made it worse.

The idea of it brought back unpleasant memories: eyes always on him, ridiculing him as he grew up, feeling like he’s always doing _something_ wrong, being suffocated in a tank full of mako-

“Cloud?” A hand on his back drew him from his dark thoughts. He turned around to see Tifa placing herself at his side, concern marring her features. Whenever she expressed concern for others, her eyes held this undeniable sense of worry, almost like she was fearful. It made Cloud feel worried for her even if her attention was on him, as if she was the one in trouble. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered a little too eagerly. _No need to make her worry._ “I’m fine, let’s go.”

Tifa nodded slowly, even though her expression conveyed the fact that she didn’t buy his nonchalant response. “Okay. Are you sure?”

She always did that. Tifa could tell when Cloud was lying about his well-being in hopes that no one would fret over him. However, she always made it clear that if she didn’t fret when she knew something was wrong, what kind of friend would she be.

Cloud shook his head and made to move out of her hold but Tifa reached out to grip his shoulder. She encouraged him to look her in the eyes again.

She looked back at Cloud, understanding in her eyes. “Oh,” she simply replied. She looked back at the crowd. “I get it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, it… I just… It scares me too,” she whispered.  
  
Cloud looked over at her in surprise. “What?” She was never one to show fear in situations such as combat but the more he had known her, he saw that she was timid when expressing her inner feelings. Cloud thought he had Tifa figured out by now yet there were still things he didn’t know about her.  
  
If anything, Tifa seemed to know more about Cloud than himself.  
  
Tifa looked down and lightly shook her head. “It’s stupid… It’s just that… we always saw danger at every turn. I guess, even years later, I still expect something horrible to happen.”  
  
Cloud couldn’t blame her for that. Two years after they had thought they could have a ‘normal’ life again, Sephiroth and Geostigma had to come in and throw a wrench into everything they were doing. Coupled with the fact that that involved the kidnapping of the two children they cared for, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t overly cautious or protective. Learning how to be constantly vigilant of danger wasn’t a simple habit one could easily fall out of.  
  
Cloud put a hand on her back. “If you need a moment…”  
  
“Do you?”  
  
“I don’t,” he replied quicker than he had liked.  
  
The two stood in silence for a while, the sea of people still buzzing along. It was moments like this that made Cloud feel detached from the world. Everyone had been adjusting to their normal life after Meteor but nothing about him and Tifa were normal. From when they were teenagers, both their lives were torn apart and they were forced to defend themselves. Even if they were building their own danger-free lives, it would probably take them years to feel like ‘normal people’.  
  
Tifa opened her mouth to speak but then cleared her throat. “Would you… would you feel better if…?”  
  
Cloud looked at Tifa and then looked down when he saw that she was wordlessly holding out her hand to him. Looking at Tifa and then giving the crowd a quick glance, Cloud nodded. He wouldn’t deny that he would appreciate the support; the least he could do was offer the same to Tifa.  
  
After placing his hand in hers, Tifa gently intertwined their fingers. They held each other’s gaze for a moment, knowing exactly what they were about to do for one another. The two of them had this uncanny ability of reading each other’s thoughts. Behind their vulnerable eyes laid their souls that were buzzing with raw emotions. Travelling together to fight Sephiroth for all those months and then staying together years after gave them the skill of knowing what the other was feeling in that moment.

They were both terrified but together, they made each other a little braver.

Cloud took the first step towards the crowd and Tifa followed straight after him. The anxiety rose up in his stomach as a million thoughts raced through his mind. As if sensing his uneasiness, Tifa’s grip around his hand tightened, grounding him to the present. Her touch was reassuring; it reminded him that she was okay, that he was okay. _They_ were okay. He repeated that mantra in his mind as the two of them became lost in the crowd. People were immediately weaving around them, continuously bumping into Cloud and Tifa’s shoulders. The inconsequential contact made Cloud tighten his grip around Tifa’s hand. Before he could consider the possibility that he was holding onto her too tightly, he felt Tifa hold onto him with equal strength.

Whenever someone bumped into them, Cloud had to stop himself from lashing out from reflex several times. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t back at Nibelheim, in that basement, on the road facing monsters, the remnants, _Sephiroth_ …

They were gone, he would never have to face them again.

However, the further they pushed through the crowd, Cloud could feel more people joining the flow. No matter where he looked, there were too many people in sight and no clear path for him to cut through. Sometimes Cloud had to stop moving because too many people would be moving in front of them.

The feeling of being trapped and enclosed brought him back to the cold basement of the ShinRa mansion, to that dark, desolate cell that he spent four years of his life in. Thinking back to that, in turn, made him think about the experiments that altered both his body and his mind. Cloud felt his breath quicken when he was reminded of being drowned mako and trapped within his own mind. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt a splitting pressure in his head.

_He couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he was trapped, he was never getting out, he was alone, someone help me please, don’t leave me don’t leave me don’t leave me-_

Tifa gently squeezed Cloud’s hand and wrapped an arm around his shoulders as he tried to calm his frantic breathing. “Breathe, Cloud,” she soothed. “It’s okay. I’m here. We’re here together.” Her voice cut through the dizziness. He felt her lean further into him. He could hear her breathing. “Listen to my breathing. Breathe with me, Cloud.”

He did his best to match her breathing and to keep his focus on her words. To keep his mind from his past. Tifa made sure that they were rooted in place and that no one in the crowd bumped into them any more times, almost like she was shielding him. She knew better than to force him through the crowd while he was tormented by his thoughts.

Eventually, the painful haze in his head began to simmer down and Cloud was able to bring himself back to reality. He continued to breathe deeply and not let his thoughts wander down that dark road. He let out a regretful sigh and looked sideways at Tifa. She smiled in relief and Cloud nodded in thanks as he sighed again. Still not letting go of each other, they continued forward.

* * *

Tifa Lockhart was many things: She was brave, fierce, confident. But it was moments like this that reminded her that she was none of those things. She put up a hardened front on the battlefield but in everyday life, she was just as lost as everyone else.  
  
Forced to defend herself from a young age, Tifa didn’t know how to not be afraid of the simplest of things. What would everyone think of her, being afraid of a measly crowd? While it was inherently harmless on the surface, to Tifa, it reminded her of everything she was afraid of.  
  
Being torn apart from those she loved, not knowing where to find them or if she’d ever see them again (Tifa had to stop reminding herself that those exact things had happened at least once). She had lost too many people in her life and with Geostigma ravaging the world, the last thing she wanted was to lose anyone else. For the last year, they began to gain a semblance of safety. So why was she terrified of being caught up in a crowd?

That questioned was answered for her when some people unexpectedly tore their way through Cloud and Tifa, forcing their linked hands apart. Tifa tried to recover but before she could reach for Cloud, groups of people weaving through them left them separated.

“Cloud!”

“Tifa!”

She tried to make her way through as she watched Cloud elbow his way through the crowd. All of a sudden, she was back in the Lifestream: trapped in a sea with no escape, separated by someone she was trying so desperately not to lose, with no way to reach him. The memory of that began to make her tear up but Tifa had to push that memory down and focus on getting back to Cloud.

No matter how many times the thought of losing Cloud terrified her, she had to remember that it would never happen. No matter how many times he lost himself, he would always find his back to her and their family.

* * *

When the two of them were finally able to push their way through, Cloud reached out his hand and Tifa immediately took it. Cloud harshly pulled her towards him and briefly into his arms. For a moment, the two of them remained in each other’s arms, their frantic breathing in sync. They slowly withdrew from each other and looked into each other’s eyes, the unspoken ‘You okay?’ hanging between them. Once they were both sure they were alright, they linked their hands together again and continued to walk through the mass of people.

Every now and again, as they were walking, Cloud looked back at Tifa. As if making sure that she was still there, despite the feeling of her hand in his. Whenever they would get trapped between people again, Tifa would double-down on her grip on Cloud’s hand while he tugged her closer toward him. They refused to relinquish their hold on each other again.

After another minute, Cloud and Tifa were finally reaching the end of the giant cluster. Once they had excited, both of them had simultaneously let out a harsh breath. Cloud took a moment to regain his bearings while Tifa kept a supportive hand on his back, sparing a glance back at the crowd, as if a looming threat was following them.

When Cloud have caught his breath, he redirected his attention back to Tifa, who seemed to be lost in her own thoughts as well. “Hey…,” he said, gently squeezing her hand. It drew her attention away from the crowd and back to him.

She gave a weak smile. “See?”, she said breathlessly. “Not so bad.”

Cloud gave a small smile back. “Yeah, I guess.” He looked off to the side. “Thanks, by the way.”

Tifa frowned. “For what?”

He shook his head lightly, not meeting her eyes. “Just for… being here.”

_For always being here._

Cloud looked up and saw that Tifa looked a little surprised. It looked like she was going to give some kind of rebuttal, but she closed her mouth and smiled again. “It’s okay. You were there for me too.”

They held each other’s gazes for several moments and, when it seemed like there was nothing else to say, they both began to continue their walk home.

Until they realised, they were still holding onto each other’s hands.

Cloud felt the heat rise to his cheeks as he looked at their linked hands and then slowly back up to Tifa. She followed his gaze, coming to the same realisation, and her surprised expression matched his.

Tifa chuckled nervously, brushing a strand of her behind her ear. She began to detach their hands. “Sorry about that.”

Sobering up, Cloud shook his head and took her hand again without thinking. “It’s fine.”

Tifa looked down to the ground. “Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You don’t have to pretend, you know?”

Cloud bit his lip; it was no secret that he and Tifa’s relationship (or whatever it was) was still on the mend, even after he had returned home after the Geostigma. Things between them had been rocky even before he left and him running off had only cemented that. Obviously, Cloud couldn’t return home and expect everything to go back to the way they were. It was on him to make sure he didn’t shut himself away again.

Even if he shut everyone out, he still cared about them more than they could ever know, though it clearly didn’t seem that way to them.

To Tifa.

Tifa, who kept him a part of their little family no matter what he did, no matter how cold he grew towards them. Even when it seemed like there was no chance of him returning home because of his geostigma, she still held out hope.

“Tifa…” Cloud retracted his free hand to cup Tifa’s cheek. His touch encouraged her to look into his eyes. “You’ve always been there for me. Even when it felt like everything was falling apart, even if when they _were_ , you never stopped _being there_.” He looked down for a brief moment. “I don’t say it a lot, but I’m more grateful than you know. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you here with me.”

“Well, then, it’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out,” she laughed humourlessly.

“Tifa…”, he sighed again.

She shook her head lightly. “You don’t have to say those things if you feel like you _have to_.”

Cloud took her by the shoulder. “I’m saying what I’m saying because I _mean it_.” He looked back up at her. “When you didn’t know if I was who I said I was or if I was ever coming home after disappearing for months… you still didn’t give up on me. You’ve always supported me, you still do. You help keep me,” he gestured out, “here.”

“I’d never leave you, Cloud. I’ll always be here.”

“And I’ll always be there for you, too. For all of you. I’m sorry that I don’t show it enough as I should.”

She shook her head. “There was never a doubt in my mind.”

Cloud nodded, relieved that Tifa understood. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Tifa, or anyone else in their family, feel as if he didn’t care. That they couldn’t lean on him for support. Since the moment Tifa found him at the train station all those years ago, all she did was give and give.

Letting go of Tifa’s hand, he pulled her into a gentle hug. She seemed a little taken aback by the sudden gesture, but eventually melted into the embrace, her hands coming up to wrap around Cloud’s shoulders. The two of them remained that way for a long moment.

“You know can rely on me, too, right?”, Cloud whispered.

Tifa laughed against his embrace. “I’ve always known that.”

That brought more relief to Cloud’s heart than anyone could ever know. Without anything else to say, Cloud placed his lips on the top of Tifa’s head, letting them linger there for a while. For a second, it seemed like Tifa didn’t notice or react. However, after a few moments, she briefly tightened her embrace around his shoulders, burying her face into his neck. When the two of them finally began to break apart from each other, Cloud’s hands were still placed on Tifa’s arms. He brushed her hair back, looking into her eyes as he did so. Tifa took advantage of his gentle movements to lean up and place a soft kiss on his cheek.

When she pulled back, she saw Cloud’s expression was a mix of contentment and relief, like this had further cemented the reality that things between them and their family were finally on the mend. That they would continue to support each other like they had always done.

Tifa smiled. “Come on. Let’s head home.”

Cloud smiled back. “Yeah.”

Taking each other by the hand again, Cloud and Tifa continued walking back to their home together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> Twitter: @xvsylleblossoms


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